hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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