how can u be prego again
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
