So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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