we have pet lesbian snakes
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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