I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
