Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
