just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
