she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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