sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
