so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
