you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm sobbing to NWA
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
