I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
