1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
