her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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