Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
