I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
