How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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