Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
