Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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