I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
