Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
