remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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