If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
