Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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