two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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