Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
