I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
this just has baby written all over it
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
