i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
