Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
