The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
