im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
