This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
