Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
