I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
