"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
