Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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