Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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