i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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