Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
