put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
