i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
