So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
