I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
