Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
