Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
