the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
