If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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