I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
