So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
