i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
